Australia - Land of Heroes

(Achilles was never awarded a Bravey Decoration even after destroying the Trojan Army, choking the rivers with all the men he'd killed)

(Maureen Crawford was awarded with an Australian Bravery Decoration by the Governor-General Quentin Bryce for her actions that saved a pilot’s life.)

Australia. In your incessant desire to celebrate mediocrity, you again overstep the mark. Not everyone can be a hero. If everyone is a hero, then the title becomes meaningless and adds no value to the description of the person. However, all I hear in the media, including vox pop interviews from real people, is the ordainment of yet another Aussie hero. And every single time the same media asks the hero how they feel about the title, every single time, the accused responds in a half-arsed thinly veiled attempt at false modesty, "I'm not a hero. Anyone would have done it."

Real Heroes:

Achilles
Ajax
Theseus
Hercules
Maureen Crawford

Heroes in General:

People who attempted to save someone but didn't
People who attempted to save someone, didn't and then died
People who didn't attempt to save anyone, but thought about it

Heroes Invented to Inspire Greatness, but only inspire kids to wear their clothes wrong:

Spiderman
Superman
Batman
Captain America
X-Men
Bogan Man

Pseudo Aussie Heroes:

Every child with a terminal illness
Most professional footy players
Victims of the Bali Bombs
Victims of the Bali Belly
People who did something good for the community
People who did something good for the community, and died
All our athletes who won an international sporting competition
All our athletes who died during their sport, even if they'd won nothing
Kids who call 000 when their parents have heart attacks
Kids who call "1311166" Pizza Hut when their parents have heart attacks
Kangaroos who call O'Briens Glass Repair when their owners collapse
Soldiers who fight in war and then somehow die
Horses that win national horse races, even the ones from New Zealand













WOOMELANG resident Bev Wall has been named the Local Hero of the Year in the Australian of the Year Victorian awards. Not only had Ms Wall taken over the post office when it was about to close but had also helped organise groceries and fuel for the town when those services folded. (The Wimmera Times - 19 Nov, 2008 10:04 AM)

Wow!

Dinky-di Aussie hero

(The Age.com - May 2, 2004)
After a stormy night, Mr Richards went to look at a fallen tree on his property at Tanjil South, north of Moe. He was struck unconscious by a falling branch, and might have died but for Lulu croaking out alarm signals which were heard 100 metres away at his home, bringing his family to his rescue.

Aussie heroes left to history

- Mark Juddery, The Courier-Mail, November 16, 2007 11:00PM

Aussie 'heroes' land crippled plane

- ABC News, Wed Apr 14, 2010 4:51pm

I'm no hero says Aussie soldier with VC

- Julian Drape and Cathy Alexander, January 16, 2009

Tania Morrison – A True Aussie Hero

- From 0 to $2.5 Million Dollars in Property in 3 Years

- Realwealthaustralia.com

Jessica Watson's hero homecoming

- All Australian Media, May 2010

It’s time we had true blue hero: Adam Gilchrist

- Phillip Hudson, the Herald Sun, January 25, 2010 6:58AM

'Aussie hero' Private Ranaudo farewelled

- Sydney morning Herald, July 31, 2009

Aussie Hero

- An Australian brand of microwavable burgers and rolls

For god's sake, Australia. Heed the tenets of our great thinkers. Listen to the immortal wisdom of the ancient philosopher and wig-stylist
Tina Turner, "We don't need another hero."