Motivational Poster

Motivational Poster


Friday, May 28, 2010

Lollypop Music - Justin Bieber Vs Jim Morrison

What do you call that pathetic musical genre of the 2000s?

What do you call those gay, pussy-arsed songs sung by those sweet little girl-boys who dominate the charts?

What one phrase concisely captures the essence of the new wave of pre-pubescent, over-sensitive dweeby wusses on the radio whining about the love they have for some teasing little tartlet?

Where have all the Men gone in music?

Don't get me wrong, baby. There have always been softies in pop music: the Righteous Brothers, John Farnham, the Eagles, Kenny Rogers, George Michael...

There have always been hard-arses: Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, The Doors, AC/DC, Metallica, Nirvana, Linkin Park, Nickelback...

What they had in common was that they were all Men - fully grown, life-experienced, full-blooded specimens from the spectrum of masculinity.

And yes, like Karl Popper, I realise that when someone says all swans are white, the first thing people do is look for a black swan. I refer to the hermaphroditic gender-neutral/gender-dubious experiment that was New Wave and New Romantic music. The early 80s music scene was attacked by a plethora of gay hair-dressers who weren't really gay or hair-dressers (except for Flock of Seagulls):

Adam Ant, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, A-Ha...

Okay, so some were actually gay. But they were still gay Men, not gay boys. They were not sweet or soft, easily drawn to tears, still living at home with mummy and daddy to pwotect dem fwom da big bad world. These gay Men were incisive, confronting, garish, risk-taking, brave-hearted. And this constitution was reflected in their music and lyrics.

Alright, alright. Yes, later on in the 80s we saw the rise of the man-perm that was Hard Rock:

Def Lepard, White Snake, Poison, Twisted Sister, the Cult

But this is also different! They weren't actually the pansy little princesses their gay hair-stylists tried to make them. They were severely talented and visionary young men who were testing the boundaries of society's appreciation of art and expression. They were still men under all that make-up.

Today's factory-produced talentless whiner is designed to sell "records" and merchandise to the wuss market - from 5 to 25 yr old girls and their fellow girl-boys.

These are not Men!

This is not the music of Men!

There is an emerging attempt to fuse lollipop boys and wussiness with masculinity. Check out the half-thawed rawness, the roughness and homelessly bestubbled disguises worn by wussy older blokes:

Franz Ferdinand, Kings of Leon, Snow Patrol, Eskimo Joe, Wolf Mother...

The new genre of the 2000s is sweet, caring, cuddly, mothering. It is the pre-pubescent, impotent, immature and weak wailing of a teary-eyed mummy's boy.

Their only talent is to look sweet, sing sweet and taste like lollipops.


  1. Whitesnake > "insert any hair metal band"

  2. guns n roses is talentless.
    guns n roses sucks
    guns n roses is the worst band ever
    I hate them to death
    the shittiest and most overrated band I have ever heard, someone please kill this crime against the humanity, anytime I hear Axl Roses's shitty voice I have to poop!

  3. While I disagree with some of what you say and I would be a bit skeptical of invoking masculinity as a real "natural" entity out there (after all - there has got to be many ways to be a man...) you are so right that there is a huge issue today with pre-pubescent idols and music icons. And not just with men! I am a young woman looking at Miley Cyrus and the message I get is that adulthood was the worst thing that could have happened to me. You are right! Somehow talking about reality, about what goes on beyond your highschool intrigues has become a "don't". And what is it with the idea that all you need is "talent": no practice, no craftmanship, no living, no learning. Yes, because Roby Krieger picked up a guitar and started playing Light my Fire... As a huge Doors fan and a appreciator of good music, I was glad to stumble upon this blog!