Married at First Sight - How Over-Analysing Poisons Everything

A rose is beautiful. Experiencing a rose is a wonderful experience.

When you analyse a rose, it becomes a wet shit on the ground.

Analysing life's wonders and beauties ruins them.

Standard comments, historically tested, are fine. "I love this rose.", "What a beautiful rose."

This not analysis. It is statements of fact or feeling.

When humans attempt anything further than this, when humans analyse, things go to shit.

When humans try to explain the beauty, the relationship, their love, their feelings, the causes, the effects, they tear the thing apart into its components, which are blemished with language and names and inept descriptions.

So why analyse them?

Humans think they are good at analysing, that they are smarter than they are, and that their command over language and their rational faculties are advanced and good enough to analyse anything.

They aren't.

Why stop analysing?

You can ruin something by talking about it too much. Just appreciate the damn thing and leave it at that.

How do we ruin things with analysis? What happens in analysis that is so destructive?

Humans start analysis with language at the most base level. They use standard day to day language to discuss something at a deep level and it doesn't fucking work. They pull the petals off, dissect the body, tear off strips to look at them.

Using standard language, common phrases and words as your arsenal to analyse X, is using a spoon to do brain surgery.

"The problem with our relationship is it could be awesome, but it's shit."

After failing to succeed with standard language, humans shift it up a gear and use language they've heard used by smart people.

They start using cliches used by politicians, news readers, TV experts, to have another go at analysing something with anything meaningful and insightful about a complex issue.

This fails also, but on a different level.

It fails this time, because they end up speaking broad vague terms that head the analysis in the opposite direction. The thing analysed becomes even more vague than with the vernacular.

"This relationship requires dedicated efforts to communication and understanding."

"Is there emotional growth or are you trying to ride it out.", "We can't go forward."

Another approach is to fall back on truisms, old adages, parables from history and over-used sayings.

"We can't just sweep things under the carpet."

"You guys have a got a lot of work cut out for you."

"Marriage is always a work in progress."

"Travel the road together."

"We've had ups and downs."

"I want to move forward."

"We've done a 180."











STOP TALKING!

When you talk about your relationship using analysis you are killing your relationship.

Because when you talk about your relationship, you are attempting to analyse and add reason to the issue, you are pulling it apart and putting it back together like pulling a puppy into pieces and then sticking the pieces back together. You end up with a bloody ugly mess instead of a cute little puppy.

You are shit at reason. So don't use it. Use normal basic factual or emotional language.

"I'm happy.", "I don't like you."

"You hurt me." "I'm sorry."

"I want to be with my friends tonight." "I don't want you getting drunk with your mates and flirting with my competition."

There's no analysis here, just honest statements about feelings.

You can't break emotional statements any further. You can't ask "Why do you like something?" "Why does X make you feel bad?"

These are invalid questions. There is no possible answer. So there can be no analysis.

After seven weeks and 54 episodes of Married at First Sight, Connie finally cuts through all the bullshit analysis and asks Jonethen directly, "Are you attracted to me?"

He responds, "No."

Here endeth the issue. Resolution in one answered question.

MAFS has it all wrong with an analytical approach to the relationship experiement.

You don't fall in love with someone, are attracted to them, and want them just because you're married.

You can't dissect the causes of love and attraction to improve the relationship.

You meet each other. Your engage with each other. You talk and interact. You fall in love. You feel sexually attracted. Then you fuck. Then you enjoy each other's company. Then you know each other, good and bad. Then you commit to be together.

Married at First Sight is backwards.

Married at First Sight is Arranged Marriage.

You don't know someone because you're matched to them.

"I feel like... like things are just turned to like shit."

That's more like it.